When your best friend fights you over a man you don’t know you have

One morning in October 2017, a guy sent me a message on Facebook. I ignored him. The next day he came again.

He said, “Good morning Fafa, I can understand why you don’t want to talk to me, but I’m not a bad person.

I just want to be friends.” I ignored him. I said in my head, “Where’s this guy from that all of a sudden he needs a friend in me? I know his kind. Today friends.

You give him a small chance, then he’ll be talking about love and sex. You devil, go away from me.” But he came again the next day, the next day again he came.

The following day he came but I kept ignoring him until one morning he said to me, “I found you through Dela. She said a lot of things about you, that’s why I’m here.”

I responded immediately, “What things did she say about me?” Before he could say anything else, I tapped on his name and started going through his profile. I said in my head, “Well, he’s a nice guy though. That’s if pictures are anything to go by.”

Dela indeed was our mutual friend and it looked like they both attended the same senior high school. When I came back to our chat, he had sent this, “Well, she said you guys are good friends and you’re such a nice lady who brings beauty to things.”

In my mind I was like, “Dela said that to you? She doesn’t even talk to me. Why would she say good things about me to people and still try to avoid me?”

I didn’t know where and how the problem between me and Dela started. We were very good together until one day she started showing me attitude.

She wouldn’t pick my calls and wouldn’t return my missed calls. When I texted her, sometimes she replied and mostly she ignored me.

She was someone I spent a lot of weekends within her house but all of a sudden, she wasn’t interested in seeing me around or hanging out with me again. I asked why on several occasions and all her answers to me were vague.

She will say, “Oh there’s nothing wrong.” Tomorrow she’ll say, “Oh we are fine but I’ve been too busy these days.” Nothing she said made sense until I decided not to bother her again.

So I asked this guy in my inbox, “How did you two begin talking about me? What was the topic?” He responded, “She posted a photo of you on your birthday and I asked about you.

She said all the good things so I decided to know you too.” I asked him, “Is that all you two discussed?” He sent a laughing emoji and said, “Yes, that’s all. Nothing serious.” Immediately when we stopped talking, I called Dela. Surprisingly, she picked my call the first time.

I asked her, “There’s this guy in my DM, Annan. Do you know him?” She responded, “Oh, he found you?” I asked, “What do you mean he found me?” She answered, “I posted you on my status on your birthday. He saw you and started asking me about you.

Finally, he said he likes you so I should give him your number, which I declined but I didn’t know he’ll look for you on Facebook.” I asked her stupidly, “What do you think he wants from me?” She answered, “Maybe a relationship but be careful. He’s a womanizer.” That did it for me.

I spent the next several months trying to avoid him. He kept sending me messages upon messages that I ignored until one day a call came through on my phone.

It was him. “How did you get my number?” He said, “I got it from your business page.

I’ve had it for so long but I wanted a situation where you yourself will give it to me willingly but it looks like it’s not going to happen.

I’m not a bad person. You can ask your friend. She knows me very well…” I cut through and said, “Yeah she knows you. That’s how come she knows you like women.”

He went silent on the phone for a while and later said bye-bye. I knew I had said something that hurt him. I felt sorry. If anything, he was only trying to be friends and didn’t deserve to be told that.

I called him in the evening and I apologized to him. He asked if it’s Dela who told me he was a womanizer. I said it didn’t matter but I was very sorry.

Some days he’ll call and other times he’ll send a message. One thing I liked about him, he was never boring. He asked questions I was interested in answering.

He brought topics I was excited to talk about. Then one day we met. He was a charmer. Everything about him was so smooth but I couldn’t shake off the womanizer tag in my head.

I’ve dealt with two of them already and didn’t want a third so that night I asked him, “What did you do to make Dela think you’re a womanizer?” He said, “Dela knew me when we were in senior high school.

Haven’t seen her again until we started talking recently because I asked her about you. Since then she had visited me in the office twice and had come to my house a couple of times. She doesn’t know me enough to call me a womanizer.”

After that meeting, I called Dela. Immediately I told her I met Annan, her demeanour changed. She started telling me about all the women Annan had slept with and jilted. He said a lot of bad things about him.

It made me think she had something against Annan so I stopped telling her what was happening between me and Annan.

So several months later, Annan proposed to me and I remember the answer that came from my mouth was, “What about all the other women in your life? Those you jilted after sleeping with them.” There was this shock in his eyes.

He asked, “So Dela told you all that?” I nodded my head. He said, “I’ll send you some screenshots when you get home.”

When I got home, he sent over fifty screenshots of conversations between himself and Dela. They started talking just the day he saw my photo on her status and along the line, Dela sounded like she was interested in Annan.

She said everything to suggest that she loved him. She sent her semi-nude photos telling him, “See what you’re missing.”

At some point when Annan agreed that she should visit him in the house, Dela said, “I hope you show me what you’re capable of when I come around.” Then she added a winking emoji.

Then after knowing both of us had met, she started saying bad things about me to Annan; “That girl is not as innocent as you see her oo. She’s my friend. I know her secrets. She’s currently dating two guys together and I know them both.”

My last relationship ended a year ago and Dela knew it. She was there with me, providing support and care when all I did was cry. So why would she say that I was dating two men?”

Annan asked, “Are you not surprised the same person is calling me a womanizer?” I answered, “Surprisingly, it was just about the same time she started showing me attitude.

Now I know why she’s doing all that.” So that day, I called her and said, “Annan proposed to me last night?” She asked, “And what did you say?” I told her, “I said yes to him. He’s quite a good guy than I expected.”

The next thirty minutes or so, Annan sent me a screenshot; “So you proposed to her finally? You don’t care about being the third boyfriend?”

We both laughed at her and her pettiness.

On 19th October 2019, after almost two years of dating Annan, we had our wedding and moved in together.

We sent her an invite but she didn’t attend our wedding and to date, if anyone asks her why I and her are no more friends, she tells them, “She stabbed me in the back.

She snatched my boyfriend and got married to him.” Those who don’t know the truth believe her and curse me. Those who find it too hard to believe come to ask me and I tell them the truth.

They end up saying, “What sort of witchcraft is that? Dear, enjoy your marriage,” and truthfully, I’ve done nothing else but to enjoy every little bit of this marriage God threw my way.


Joseph Asare, a freelance journalist, a blogger and loves the internet

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