LOVE v INFATUATION: Know which one you’re feeling!

Per the Oxford dictionary, infatuation is “a strong feeling of immense love or sekzual attraction”. An online dictionary put it rather better, “it is an an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something”.

It is also known as limerence; “An involuntary romantic infatuation with another person, especially combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated”. Infatuation can be so powerful that it makes you even believe you are in love.

How do we know we are infatuated? See the causes too.

Surely, infatuation is a natural feeling we are bound to experience at some strategic points in our lives, most times preceded by some recent unpleasant events in our romantic lives, or some kind of fantasies which leaves us expecting more even when the expectations seem rather unrealistic. See how:

1. You just met

You just met the person maybe from the club or a party and you are already fantasizing a lot of romantic scenes happening between you two. You get so attracted to superficial things; the way he/she walks or talks or does things maybe so tenderly, and you already picture the crush doing same to you.

You already think you know a lot about him or her but actually, you don’t. You might even get to assume some qualities on him which you haven’t even taken out time to experience them yourself. This happens when you desperately need attention. It’s infatuation. Love doesn’t just happen! Love would make you want to let him show those things through getting to know him for whom he really is and that could demand patience but infatuation brooks no such. You want it quick. When you don’t get it, the whole feeling vanishes soon. It’s infatuation.

2. All you think about is what you want from him/her (one-sidedness)

When you see a relationship from only one side of it, your side, it’s infatuation. There’s this obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated. Therefore, you place your partner on a pedestal and want him to reflect exactly what you think of him instead of letting him be himself and equally loving him the way he is, and when you don’t get it as wanted, it starts fading. It’s normally caused by a disappointment in your recent relationship or you are just entering the dating age. Sometimes loneliness too. Love, on the other hand, would make you want to see him for what he is and you see yourself interested in what he/she wants. Then, there’s compromise through the mutuality.

interestingly, even partners in a relationship can be infatuated with each other, but that can only lead to early breakup. Why? They didn’t quite get to know each other. Those intense perfect moments must surely give way for the imperfect times and once such relationships wasn’t founded on something strong enough to stand the test of time, it simply crashes.

3. Love is blind but infatuation is ‘blinder’

Infatuation makes you see only their strengths, their perfections, positive attributes while your eyes are perfectly closed on the possibility of some negative attributes lurking somewhere in them. “Infatuation is when you think he’s as sexy as Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors”. – Judith Viorst. And when any of these lacks, you lose interest.

But, love recognizes their imperfections and makes you accommodate them, or work out something perfect through those imperfections, or even disregard them because you know your partner better. It all demands the willingness to give your time and energy, which you would love doing in the long run. infatuation wants to see it already ripe, never wants to work make it ripe.

4. Infatuation makes you want get things sealed off too quickly

The feeling is to intense, so you’re scared of losing them because you already made a blissful future with them in your imagination. You want to bind things with them and ensure you are the only one with them without even wanting to know it’s same the other side.You tend to feel unnecessarily jealous because of the obsession.

When things seem not going as planned, you try to force it. You make big issues out of very trivial things – irrationality, drama. Infatuation could get really draining as you try to match these things. You think it is love, you are doing the right thing. You are fighting for what you think is love when there’s actually nothing to fight for. No. It’s not. Love doesn’t drain your energy, it refreshes. It’s your jealousy, worries, and obsessions that drain you. Love is like an adventure; the farther you go, the more you want to discover.
Love takes takes time to build and when it is built, you won’t feel the need to seal anything because you are confident of their love and care at all times. You make room for disappointments, patient enough to work things out and also ready to let things go because you know you are dealing with an imperfect person.

5. Infatuation thrives mostly on sekzxual attraction

Once all you could think about initially is how good they’ll look in bed, it is infatuation. Partners in love do feel sekzual attraction but it’s not their priority. That’s why you see some couples in relationships stay over a year or two before the first sekz. Having sekz at your foremind makes you work only towards it, and when it is not forthcoming, you change the course of the wheel. It is infatuation.
And to conclude on today’s lifestyle given to by Akosua Boatemaa, I indicate that infatuation has a short-term But real love has long term Nd can be forever. When the love mature.


Akosua Boatemaa

I'm Yours Truly, Blogger Akosua Boatemaa. I'm here to feed Your eyes and Ears with Authentic News Updates.

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