We met in September 2020. He said it was love at first sight. I said I didn’t believe in that. I told him, “You should know a person well enough to fall in love with them. Love at-first-sight is usually based on lust and not true love.” He was so convinced I was the one for him and was ready to do anything to have me be his girlfriend. I on the other side wanted to know him very so we gave it some time.
He called day and night and sometimes at dawn to tell me he was thinking about me. I told him to take it slowly because true love builds slowly. He wouldn’t listen to me. When guys are in love or want you so much, they listen to no advice. I tried my best to get him to reason with me but all he wanted was for me to say yes to him.
Two weeks later he asked me, “You still don’t know me enough?” I said, “I know only what you’ve shown me and if that’s anything to go by then you are a good person.” He said, “If you think I’m good, then why don’t you say yes to me?” I responded, “Ok yes. Yes to the love you have for me. Yes to your proposal and yes to whatever you want me to be in your life. Are you happy now?” He smiled and asked, “Are you serious? You sound like you’re saying it just to make me shut up.” I told him, “I’m serious. When the man is good, you say yes to him. As time goes on I’ll know you better but I pray you don’t change because I love what you came with.”
That day things changed between us. We were no longer the boy and the girl who had agreed to study each other. We were lovers who have agreed to take the risk and see what the journey ahead may bring. We didn’t set rules. We wanted to love the best way we could as the day goes by.
He kept being sweet. September was the flowery month of our love relationship. We went out every weekend and at night, when it was time to go, we didn’t want to depart from each other’s presence. I remember on one of those dates he asked me, “What name would you like to give to our first child if it’s a boy?” I said, “A boy? We’ve started talking about babies already?” We both laughed. The question wasn’t funny. The answer too wasn’t funny but I guess lovers are like that. Any silly thing gives them something to laugh about.
We spoke about babies. We spoke about where to live after marriage. We spoke about what colors to choose for our wedding. Our conversations gave the feeling that we were going to marry so soon, and that made me loved him the more. Three relationships ago, I was the girl who was convinced that love was not worth the time we invest in it.
I told myself, “I’m done with relationships. I would instead concentrate on my life and career. I would find my purpose and let the purpose drive me away from love and its complications. But there is always someone who comes along and changes perceptions and until that person comes along, you’re not done yet.”
October was good to us. We continued making plans and thinking of where next to take our relationship. It was in October that he took me home to meet his mom. He didn’t introduce me to her as the girl he was going to marry but he said enough for his mother to know that I was the girl he was dating; He said, “Mom, meet my friend Doris.”
His mother asked, “Friend?” He responded, “Yeah, friend, or maybe someone who is a very good friend.” His mother teased, “Your first time bringing a lady home and you say she’s a friend?” He responded, “So you should understand the kind of ‘friend’ I’m talking about her.”
Her mother shook my hand amidst smiles; “Welcome home, my son’s friend.”
It wasn’t anything grand but it drummed home the kind of seriousness he attached to the relationship. The next day, in his house, my legs got wobbly and my knees weakened when he ran his fingers through my hair after a minute long kiss. He looked deep into my eyes like he was searching for a missing treasure.
My lips curled and I felt a twitch in my honeypot. My plan at the beginning of the relationship was to allow sex only after six months when he had proven himself beyond measure. But that day when he looked at me the way he did, I decided to give it all away. Body no be firewood. He took over my whole body, like a dress that didn’t fit but you love it so much so you force yourself into it. That was our first and our first happened in October—barely a month after the beginning of the relationship.
And then there was November—his birth month. His birthday fell on a Friday so the whole weekend was used to celebrate the day that the king was born. I didn’t go home after Friday night celebrations. I stayed in his house and for the first time, I spent the weekend with him, making love, watching movies, and walking naked in his room throughout the weekend. On Monday morning, he drove me straight to work and said goodbye to me. It felt like marriage rehearsals. I started looking into the future to see how the two of us would belong in the same house and do things together as a married couple. The thought of it gave me happiness and was eager to see that future.
December, things slowed a little bit. I guessed we were both busy at work. I didn’t see him a lot and there was nothing to complain about. We talked a lot on phone instead and I remember doing a video call one of the nights. He called me on the 18th of December. He said, “Why don’t you spend the weekend with me. I’ve been tired from work. I think we need to wind down.” I ran like a headless chicken to his place that night and it was a repetition of my first weekend with him all over again. Make love. Watch movies. Walk around in my birthday suit. The only difference here was that I left his place on Sunday morning.
Some hours later after I’d left, his call came in. Something wasn’t right. He was speaking on top of his voice. Clearly, he was angry about something. I told him, “Dear calm down. What is the issue about?” He screamed on the phone, “How could you do that? Who goes to the toilet and doesn’t flush? What kind of nasty thing is that?” I said calmly, “You mean I didn’t flush?” He screamed, “Stop asking silly questions. Would I be talking to you about the toilet if you did? Don’t you have manners? Who goes to his boyfriend’s house, use the toilet, and doesn’t flush?” I was confused. So confused I didn’t know what to say.
“Dear, calm down. Maybe there’s a mistake here. I remember using the toilet but trust me, I flushed it.” He screamed again, “Did you say a mistake? Who else uses the WC with me apart from you that came here?” Before I could regain my senses and say my apologies, he cut the phone on me.” “Wow,” I said to myself. I started thinking back to my time at the toilet. I remember putting down the cover and turning the flush handle. “Yes, I did. Or the thing didn’t go?”
I called him again and again and again. He didn’t pick my calls. I sent him messages of apologies but he responded to none of them. I’ve never seen him angry before that day so I didn’t know how to handle the whole situation. I thought as time goes on, he will go sober and give me a call. Two days. Three days. Four days. He didn’t call. I called him again. I texted him. He never responded. Five days. Six days. Seven days. Christmas was over. He never called. I went to his house and he wasn’t there. I stayed there all night until it was 1am, he never came back. I called him on 31st December and he picked. His voice was calm. I said only three words, “How could you?” He responded, “Doris, it was over the day you left that nasty thing in there. I can’t keep up with a lady who doesn’t flush.”
That was the end of us. Three months of pure love severed because of just a simple flush that failed. People leave a relationship for various reasons. I never dreamt this could be one of the reasons.