When you\u2019re in a relationship, it\u2019s easy to forget that the little things matter. In fact, there are probably things you\u2019re doing right now that absolutely move your love forward. Good job, well done!\nHowever, there are also likely things you\u2019re doing (over and over again), mostly subconsciously, that will ruin your partnership every time. And, most likely, you\u2019re not even aware you\u2019re doing them.\n\nWith this relationship advice, you\u2019ll be able to stop the self-sabotage and keep the happiness you deserve.\n1. Laying down the law because of a past experience\nSometimes when we get badly hurt or we finally got out of that difficult marriage, we make a deal with ourselves that we will never end up with a guy like that ever again.\nFor example, you dated a guy who cheated on you. Then you decide \u201cI will never again end up with a guy who cheats.\u201d So you go to the other extreme and date a guy who is really into you. He\u2019s a good person, but too much in your face. Now you find you have no freedom, feel smothered and it is all too much.\nDon\u2019t pick a boyfriend in retaliation against a past boyfriend\u2019s mistakes. (Nor hold your current partner responsible for proving he\u2019s not like your ex.) You have to date from a good space, not a motive from the past.\n2. Saying you\u2019re too busy when he asks you for a date\nI see this happen all the time when women feel confused about how much interest is OK to show a guy they actually like. They\u2019re told not to change their plans for a man (because, hello: \u201cstrong, independent woman with a life!\u201d).\n\nBut honestly, it depends on who you are and what your patterns are. If you\u2019re someone who always tells friends and men you\u2019re too busy, you need to shift that. Too busy says to the other person, \u201cYou\u2019re not important to me.\u201d If you want love, and the relationship is going well, make the guy you like a priority in your life.\n3. Acting like \u201cboyfriend and girlfriend\u201d before you are\nA big mistake (and massive turn-off) is someone who acts like you\u2019re in a full-blown relationship after just the first few dates.\nHave you ever had this happen to you? You meet a guy online. He asks you out for next Friday. And before you even meet him in person, he\u2019s calling, texting and planning your future together. So, catch yourself (and stop yourself) if you\u2019re doing this.\n4. Not showing interest\nYou definitely don\u2019t need to chase him, but men do need to know their efforts are acknowledged and that you\u2019re interested in them. Playing \u201chard to get\u201d can cost you the relationship.\nA quality man will treat you the same way he would treat anyone else close to him \u2014 as important, valued and appreciated. So, if you like him and he is a good person, let him know it. The right guy will love this.\n5. Acting indifferent as soon as admit you like him\nBe consistent because lots of women have bold confidence until they sincerely like that guy. Is this you? Then, as soon as you discover you like him, all your insecurities show up and, to self-protect, you start acting like you don\u2019t care.\nDon\u2019t let feigned indifference get in the way of your biggest dream. Be consistent in your love, your behavior, and your words.\n6. Looking for \u201cissues\u201d in your relationship (where they don\u2019t exist)\nHave you ever started a fight because you didn\u2019t want him to think you were more into him than he was into you? Or, you\u2019re worried he\u2019ll cheat on you, so you check his phone and keep bringing up the subject?\nCatch yourself when you notice you\u2019re creating problems with your wonderful guy (who has shown you no evidence that there is a problem in your relationship). Is this in your head? Try not to create the very thing you fear by looking for problems that don\u2019t actually exist.\n7. Constantly testing his love for you\nIf you need to test him or make him jump through hoops, you\u2019re either in the wrong relationship or your \u201cstuff\u201d is showing up and getting in the way. Quality guys are not attracted to being tested.\nWhen you test his love, his loyalty, and how well he \u201cgets\u201d you, this is all a lack of communication on your part of what you want, need, and desire. Testing comes from insecurity and lack of self-love. Instead, simply speak up and tell him clearly what you want.\nSelf-sabotage is common in happy relationships and can show up in many subtle ways. No matter how beautiful a person you are (inside and out) nor how close you are to finding true love, if you behave in ways that sabotage connection, it will cost you dearly.